This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
