Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
