In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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