What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
