I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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