I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
