I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
