in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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