he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i now understand why vodka
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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