R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
