I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
