If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
last night I used snow as a chaser