I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
