Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
