so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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