non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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