Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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