I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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