I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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