found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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