Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
