Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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