are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
