I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
