no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I stole a fireplace last night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
