She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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