i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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