your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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