that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
