i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
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i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
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You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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