the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
