she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
