Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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