Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.