My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize