And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.