piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
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We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
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I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.