She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room