Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.