Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
