She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
