I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
