My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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