Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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