I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There r osticjed everywhere
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
