I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
