so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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