Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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