...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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