awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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