ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?