i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
