Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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