And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
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It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
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He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ladies don't puke and tell
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize