Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
