I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
