just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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