he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Green mimosas i think yes
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
