Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
