Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You took a bar mat shot.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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