1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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