There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm gonna have a badass scar
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at about main and main street
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
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